Authenticity

Other People’s Choices Don’t Define Whether We Are Good Enough

What makes you good enough?

One of the first ever guest posts I wrote was about my experiences of long-term travel, and one of the first comments I received on that post was a disgruntled reader complaining that they were sick of reading about privileged young people who could afford to drop everything and travel around the world.

Although his comment wasn’t reflective of my situation, I couldn’t help thinking:

So what?

So what if there are privileged young people who can afford to drop everything and travel around the world? So what if people want to share their experiences, of travel, losing weight, knitting competitions, or anything else they happen to be interested in? Even if the entirety of my post had been a tirade against people who don’t make the same life choices as I do…

So what?

Other people’s experiences, beliefs, and choices have zero impact on whether or not we are good enough in our own lives.

This includes, but is not limited to: appearance, lifestyle choices, diet, bank balance, career, relationships, car model, house size, number of offspring (or not wanting offspring), awards won, records broken, or anything else.

The things that we all want—to feel enough, to be loved, to be accepted, to be safe, to be seen, to feel alive—none of these things are finite resources. Someone having and enjoying those things in their life doesn’t take away from the next person’s ability to have and enjoy them too.

It’s not other people’s choices that take away from our sense of worthiness or being good enough—we do that. Especially when we compare ourselves to them and expect ourselves to be anyone different than who we currently are.

As individuals making our own ways in the world, it’s our job to decide what good enough looks like in own own lives, and remember that no one else’s words, choices or actions can change that.

Further reading: how to deal with comparison and not feeling good enough & 20 quotes on self-care and self-acceptance

This post was inspired by Jen Pastiloff.