4 Ways to be Kind to Yourself When You're Feeling Blue
Laser Launch blog party is a collection of stories from online celebrities about their second year experiences. Brought to you by: Laser Launch Package - a double whammy of expertise to get your next launch sold-out because your second year should be fun + profitable.What have I learned during my first year of business? That so many of the lessons you learn as a business owner apply to other areas of your life too. Communication, money, persistence, motivation, procrastination, relationships, negotiation, and so much more—all of these things bridge the gap between work and play.When it comes to running your own show, the highs are amazingly high, the lows can absolutely blow, and experiencing both in quick succession is totally normal. I've found that the same intensity of highs and lows exist in other areas of life too, they just usually happen at a slower rate. And, in both business and in life, it's not the highs and lows themselves that define our experience of life, it's how we respond to them. Having battled my own inner gremlins and experienced times of struggle, hardship, and general suckage, I am very familiar with how low the lows can get sometimes. Wherever you're at and whatever you're doing, a little self-kindness can go a long way...
Remember that everything passes
Feelings are transitional, and chances are that you've felt this way before. The highs and lows we experience each have their own arc; some last longer than others, but they all transition in the end.Some days we'll feel on top of the world, other days we'll be looking up at the spec of light that sits at the top of our dark hole. Most days, we'll be somewhere pretty neutral. But it all moves, shift, and eventually passes, if we're willing to give ourselves space, time, and accept our own process.
Repurpose your energy
I've tried many things over the years to turn my frown upside down: listening to music, raiding the fridge, taking a nap, going for a walk... (and many decidedly unhealthy things besides). However, there's one thing that, without fail, helps me get back on my feet emotionally speaking:Paying it forward.I first did this a while ago after receiving a particularly entitled, passive aggressive missive from a disgruntled reader. After an hour of thinking about it, talking about it, and pondering how to take this person down with a well-aimed witty repartee (not my proudest moment), I realised that I was spending way more energy on them than they had earned.So I shifted my focus to people who had earned it. I remembered a book I had enjoyed reading recently and left a 5-star review on Amazon for the author. I sent someone who had inspired me a nice message. And suddenly, passive aggressive person's email didn't really matter anymore.Since then, that has been my go-to method for turning myself around.Energy can't be created or destroyed, it just changes... and we can make that change. (tweet this)Negative energy in, positive energy out. When I'm feeling a surge of crappypants energy, I figure out how I can add value to the world and I use that energy and drive to go and do that.
Ask for support, and be specific
Sometimes, we talk to people because we want their feedback, advice, and suggestions. Sometimes, we talk to people because we want to be seen, heard, and understood.Even if we want support from others, it's an act of self-kindness to work out what type of support we're looking for, and to communicate that to the other person. When we're clear with ourselves about what we need, we're far more likely to get helpful support, and the other person or people will be glad of the opportunity to give it.
Create a Self-Kindness Kit
Being kind to ourselves when we're feeling blue can be challenging. When we're already in that place, we might feel stuck, listless, uncertain, and not really in a position to be creative and think outside the box.So, prepare. If you know you're going to be experiencing challenges over the next few weeks/months/years, prepare for that point of inflection in advance. The kit is a list of go-to activities that represent self-kindness when things get tough.
- Think of five times when you've felt most joyful and write down what you were doing, who you were with, and what needs were being met in the process.
- Think of five times when you've felt most fulfilled and write down what you were doing, who you were with, and what needs were being met in the process.
- Think of five times when you've felt safe and write down what you were doing and who you were with.
- Think of your core values and activities you enjoy that are aligned with one or more of them.
Look for the patterns in the activities, people, and needs in your answers and use these elements to start creating your kit.What are your go-to suggestions for being kind to yourself when you're feeling blue? Leave a comment and share your ideas! Photo Credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via Compfight cc