Identifying and Changing Life Patterns


This is a guest post by Orsolya Hernold.The habit of writing a journal and the frequent re-reading of my notes helped me to identify my life patterns. Realizing that I am just about to weave another of the good old fabric of my life enabled me to change patterns I didn’t wish to repeat. A life pattern for me can be inherited or imprinted from parents or a repeated way of decision making. I will now share with you some of my repetitions and invite you to investigate your life from this aspect.

  • I am quite a restless person – I left both high school and university after two years, choosing to spend some time abroad instead. The maximum time I have spent at a workplace has been two years. We, as a family, move a lot. My son will have his 8th birthday in his 6th home.
  • I easily get excited and enthusiastic about a project, then I can quickly drop the idea – a pattern I would like to un-weave with this blog. I intend to be persistent with it for at least a year.
  • Doing everything fast and effective is a definite inheritance – serving me well a lot of times, but also frequently making myself overwhelmed and exhausted. So I strive to create a balance here: productivity in housework and at work is desirable, but I watch for the signs of stress. And I am building a “relaxed mode Orsi” for times with Zoli and the children, as well as on holidays and at weekends.
  • I’m far better doing things the second time. I have failed a number of times at doing something for the first time (I just read my first swimming competition, where I got the whole team disqualified with an ill-timed jump), but I have got up (many times with the help of others) and redone it again, where I have then succeeded. I realized a couple of years ago that this pattern is not valid anymore: my first born is just as perfect as my second born, have I told you already? Besides this very important example, I managed several projects as a consultant where I was new to the industry and the company, yet I delivered on time and in good quality.
  • I fell in love with the same kind of guys for a long time – a pattern that was the hardest to figure out and undo.

Now you have a picture of what I am talking about when referring to life patterns – anything that is repeatedly happening in your life. Get some paper or a file open and jot down yours:

  • Can I recall any repetition in my life? With people, at work, at home, in habits or in decisions?
  • With regard to each identified repetition, ask: has repeatedly doing this served my life so far?
  • Is there a pattern I wish to finish and not repeat anymore?
  • What can or would I like to change to enable myself to un-weave this piece of fabric in my life?
  • Who can I ask to support me in this change?

If you decide to change something, then try to make a plan. I have a weekly target and also long term goals to reach with my blog, all of which I return to daily. This plan (with the great feedback from readers) helps me to stay focused on changing my pattern of “quickly losing heart,” as well as ensuring that I keep my zeal.What have you found useful for identifying your life patterns? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.About OrsolyaOrsolyaOrsolya is a coach and trainer from Budapest, Hungary, where she lives with her partner Zoli and two children. She has been writing about herself for more than 20 years and shares her journey of personal growth, self-improvement and growing consciousness through her website, Follow her bio-monthly online journaling course, or find her on Twitter @OrzolaJournal or Facebook.  Image: Judson Moore