What Season of Life Are You In? (And Why It Matters)
Autumn has arrived with a bluster in New England. The leaves are turning, the wind has picked up, and the landscape has suddenly transformed from lush green to reds and oranges. While I acknowledge (and apologise for) the cliched metaphor here, just like the natural world has seasons, it’s a good reminder we have seasons within our lives too. This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. With kids around, things are always changing. Schedules change, interests change, and they just keep growing up! One day you’re deep in the trenches of babyhood, nappies, nursing, and all the laundry, and then suddenly they’re listening to Taylor Swift and asking for a phone.
Our life seasons aren’t as regular as nature’s, and we might not even be fully aware of them, but learning to recognise and accept them can make all the difference. I think this concept is especially helpful when there are things happening in life that are outside of our control. These might be things that are inevitable with the passage of time, things we wouldn’t have chosen (if that were an option), but things that, nevertheless, are happening.
Some seasons are for working hard, some are for focusing on our health and wellbeing. Some seasons are caregiving seasons, others are practical seasons, yet others might be recovery seasons. Some seasons we might be focused on what’s happening at home, others our focus might be more outward into our communities and the people around us. And with each season, our patterns of life and our rhythms will ebb and flow.
When I’ve felt frustrated or stuck in one or more areas of my life, I’ve found it helpful to look at the bigger picture and gauge what this season of my life is actually about. Sometimes the answer reassures me that no, I’m not stagnant, I’m just in a season that necessitates prioritising focus on something else. Sometimes the answer nudges me towards a change. If I’m still dressing for winter when it’s well into spring (and uncomfortable because of this), it’s time to adjust.
Here are some other observations about life seasons I’ve noticed:
Transitions are a natural point of change
Moving house, changing relationships, having a child, starting or ending a job… All these kinds of life transitions can usher in new seasons. They might be amazing, they might be challenging, and it’s important to make space for the joy, the grief, and all the other feelings. But these transitions will also come with opportunities (even if those aren’t immediately apparent). If we’re aware of these potential opportunities, even when we can’t see them yet, we can be intentional about what else we might want to change, stop, or start as one season shifts into another.
What looks like moving backwards might actually be moving forwards
Perhaps there is something that used to be a major part of your life that you’ve reduced or stopped altogether—either by choice or necessity. By conventional standards, this might look like going backwards in terms of progress, but what if this pause could be helpful? What if it’s a gateway to new perspectives, a new approach, new ideas, renewed vigour, and a different direction?
If you’re in a season that feels stagnant or like slipping behind, whether that’s caring for a family member, recovering, grieving, or simply resting, it’s worth asking what this season might be giving you that a busier one wouldn’t.
Everything passes
As the saying goes, sometimes it passes like a kidney stone, but it does pass! Sometimes things work themselves out with time and patience. Sometimes they require a nudge (or a strong kick) in the right direction. But wherever you are in life right now, know that nothing lasts forever and this season too will come to an end. The inevitability of change can feel uncertain and anxiety-provoking, but it’s also a good reminder to enjoy the good that exists right now, and a useful tool for getting through the hard parts.
There is no “right” season to be in
You own your path. Just because one version of life works for someone else doesn’t automatically mean it’s right for you. No one else can tell you what season you should be in because they aren’t living your life. They don’t necessarily know what matters most to you, what you’re carrying behind the scenes, or what this time of your life is requiring from you.
This is especially worth remembering when you scroll through other people’s highlight reels. Someone else’s season of big life wins, prolific productivity, or ongoing adventure isn’t a reflection on your quieter or more low-key one. The “right” season for you is simply the one that fits your life, as it is, right now. As we approach the end of the year, it’s a good time to check in with ourselves and ask whether it still does. Trees drop their leaves when it’s time and regrow new ones when they’re ready. Maybe there’s something we can learn from that.
Questions to ask yourself:
How would I describe the season of life I’m in right now?
What has this season required from me?
What have the opportunities of this season been (even if unexpected)?
Are my goals and expectations of myself in alignment with the season I’m in? Is there anything I’m holding on to from a previous season that no longer fits?
Knowing this season will pass, what do I want to appreciate about it while I’m in it?
What season do I feel ready to make space for? What is one small step I can take today towards this?