“What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly.”
– Carl Rogers
For the longest time, I equated “self-care” with “selfish”. I thought it was the domain of people who had far too much time and money on their hands and the realm of people who were self-indulgent. All in all, I saw it as something that was quite embarrassing and cringe-worthy.
Now I know different.
I know that it’s not about time, nor about money. I know there is a big difference between self-care and self-indulgence. And, I definitely know that we show up more fully and are nicer people to be around when we’re taking care of our needs.
When you thrive, you help other people thrive too.
No one is going to thrive for you, and no one cares about your experience of life quite as much as you do. Yet, many of us are waiting for permission to go out and do the things we really want to do and be the people we really want to be. When you thrive, you’re implicitly showing people, “This is what it’s like to take ownership for your experience of life, and guess what? It’s AWESOME.”
To the right people, you will show them it’s possible. And you might be the only person in their lives who does that.
When you thrive, you have a fuller experience of life.
Life stops feeling like a struggle to meet needs day after day and becomes an experience of enrichment and joy. And when we are enriched and joyful, we pass that on. We smile more fully at the barista; we are more likely to see opportunities to help, to connect, to do nice things for people we care about. And that creates a butterfly effect of tiny kindness ripples.
Even if you could make one person’s day a little brighter, wouldn’t you say yes to that?
There is no real meaning to life, we create meaning.
I’m not religious or particularly spiritual so, without being nihilistic, I don’t believe there’s any pre-determined meaning to my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to be alive, grateful for life, and would definitely rather be here than not. At the same time, the reason for our existence boils down to: “Evolution happened, a long line of ancestors had babies, and now here we are.”
You might disagree with this, but I find it uplifting and inspiring. To me, one of the most rewarding challenges in life is to create some sense of meaning and purpose while I’m still here. This approach has influenced a lot of the choices I’ve made and continues to do so, but it’s only something I can embrace when I’m thriving. When I thrive, I’m more creative, more committed, more willing to take reasonable risks, and more able to sit with uncertainty. Bit by bit, all those things help me create meaning for myself and attempt to support others as they create their meanings too.
Yes, thriving is about you and your experience of life. It’s also about much more.
Further reading: How to fit self-care into your daily routine & What self-care pros do differently (& why it matters).
Image: Mike Nay
